I don`t want to sleep

I can see the stars shining, up high in the clear sky,

but I don`t want to sleep.

Felling the cold breeze on my cheeks,

I can see the leaves dancing on the empty streets.

Through my open window,

I like to talk to talk insanely to the dark shadow.

I like to fly indefinitely with my dreams,

but I don`t want to sleep.

I recall our days together back then,

Find them more valuable than merely hypothetical dreams.

Truly, those days can`t be attached back to life,

Neither my cries would help nor my screams.

I`m tired enough to fall unconsciously anytime.

but I don`t want to sleep.

Hadn`t I be so blind to see your tears,

Hadn`t I be so daring to have some fears,

Hadn`t it then be such a loss to me,

You`d have been near, for me to see.

The pleasant moon light is forcing me though,

but I don`t want to sleep.

As I`m missing you, I am loosing the light from my life,

Each thought of yours is creating another hole in my heart,

Though I felt my decision too arrogant back then,

Today I feel myself breaking down into pieces, being apart.

I can`t figure out the reason,

But I don`t want to sleep tonight.

It wasn`t a dream

It wasn`t a dream cause I was not asleep.
In the middle of the road, I felt like a sheep.
All my life ahead and my way behind,
I`d decided not to cross the line.

We shared the room, we shared the food
We shared the time in the heart of foggy woods.
It was the time when he spoke a lot
And he finished all just in a single shot.

I t was a mistake to lose my soul,
It was a mistake to see him as my ultimate goal,
It was he, for who I got into my first fight,
I t was he who left me aside.

It wasn`t a dream cause I was not asleep,
In the middle of the road, I felt like a sheep.
I broke my promise and I crossed the line,
Now I am all by myself, in my hands there lies a new life.

One more day

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Turn back to see what have you gained;
Don`t count the lost, `cause
You never take back the drained.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Sit amongst your loved ones, get expressed,
You never know you`d lose someone so special
Someday, keeping yourself suppressed.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Give a call to the one you had a conflict with that day,
Don`t let an ego be the reason,
Get it over by the same evening, anyway.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Think over the bonds you made today,
Bring over the faces that make you smile;
Sacrifice for love, whether it is January or May.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Evaluate the safe distances for each individual,
Don`t get too close that some relations end up
With someone getting hurt what-so-ever might be the ritual.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
Close your eyes and let your mind see the world.
Move your soul towards God, a step more closer
Think future but don`t get curled.

The sun has set now; one more day is dead now.
You might have forgotten a lot from the lot;
There are things you think are dead now,
But the next day you have to give them one more shot.

When he was gone

28th Sep, 2009.

Have you ever heard about the phrase-‘hole in life’? I`d only heard about it in movies and some poems from some abnormally sentimental artists till the present day…

It was very similar like the daily routine. I was sitting in front of my desktop enjoying some random online games, simultaneously chatting with all different kinds of strange humans, receiving good wishes for the ceremony. I`m amongst the only few exceptions who were staying back even during a 10 days` break.

Suddenly my phone rang. Its screen flashed ‘Dad’.

“Hello”.
“Eldest ‘dadu’ is no more” said the voice from the other side. “I came here directly and all the rituals have been done” the words that followed meant no more to me.

In my hostel room sitting, I felt like screaming the hell out of me. I felt something missing in life. I couldn`t see it but I could feel a black spot in front of my eyes.

(1) Never fear ‘The wrong’ and ‘Death’.
(2) Never waste your tears for no reason.
(3) Always feel free to write on a piece of paper what you don`t want to share with anyone else. It will always be your best friend.

These are some of the words he`d said to me once when I was little. Without thinking any further, a thin streak of water rolled down my cheeks.

मैंने कहा था निशा से

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
चंद लम्हे और दे दो हमें,
उड़ने दो उन हसीन सपनो के संग,
जिन्होंने उन चंद लम्हों में ही जीना सीखाया हमें |

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
ना दो कोई मौका हमारी पलकों को झपकने का,
डूब जाने दो अपने काजल के नशे में,
परछाई बन जाने दो मुझे अपनी उस पाक् परछाई का |

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
चलने दो उन सर्द हवाओं को,
बंधे रहने दो सारी फिजाओं को साथ-साथ,
जाने से रोक लो मेरे उस पलभर के सुकून को |

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
कोई और आप पर नज़र उठा कर देखे ये हमें अच्छा नहीं लगता,
आप कुछ पल के लिए ही दूर क्यों न हों,
पर मैं खुद को ही अच्छा नहीं लगता |

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
साथ चलो तुम मेरे, मेरी प्रेरणा बनकर,
चलने दो मेरी कलम को तृप्ति की राह पर,
गूंजती रहो मेरे गीतों की सरगम बनकर |

मैंने कहा था निशा से रुक जाओ
मत छोडो मुझे अकेले इतने सारे तारों के बीच,
डर से सहम जाता हूँ मैं,
जब खडा पता हूँ खुद को मैं इतने सारे कच्चे रिश्तों के बीच |

लिखते-लिखते रात गहरी होने लगी है अब,
अर्ज करते-करते कई मौसम गुज़र गए,
निशा ने रुकने का फैसला तो कर लिया
पर हम कई महीनों के लिए निशाचर बन गए |