My mind changes with a blink of an eye. I cannot hold it anymore. Neither can I ask it to make me do what I want. I think of buying a toothpaste, I get inside the shop and start searching for some good wafers, buy a 3-in-1 pack of soap, displaying ‘save Rs3/-’ in catchy yellow and happily get out of the shop. I think of getting my hair done, the next moment I find myself with my folks deeply involved in some gaming zone. I think of devoting some time to the Newspaper that knocks my door every morning without any slip, and the gaming zone is there again. I decide to quit gaming, the next moment I am in front of the screen again, enjoying a classic Hollywood movie, when finished, I`m back to the zone with a bang. I decide to have my dinner in the mess, save myself some bucks, and I end up trying out different cuisines in restaurants I`ve never been before all seven days of the week. I talk to my mom, it takes me whole lot of time to answer to “Why were you not picking up the phone last night?” that to in my native tongue.

Do I need to start the ‘Baba Ramdev stuffs’ this early or is there any scope I can return into a normal state! Although he guarantees ‘Mann ki sthirta’ and ‘Aatma ki shaanti’ sort of things, is there any possibility I should be going through all those! One moment I think that every human being at this stage of life has to face this phage more or less, early or later and the next moment I start feeling blue, ‘Why the hell can`t I see others behaving like I do?’.

Two days before the exams, I swallow the books like I`m the biggest foodie ever. I decide to continue the spirit for the rest of my college, acquiring something useful, something worth that time, some knowledge, something that I can refer to as an achievement. In my living dream, I want to know everything. As the judgment day passes, I am done with all the vomiting over the answer sheets; I come back to where I actually belong. The books stare at me saying ‘Can`t you give me a look at least once a day, else keep me somewhere safe, away from the spiders and the lizards’.

I haven`t talked about it yet but I know what people will say. So I prefer to have a silent tongue. Though I felt it since a long time back but couldn`t think (though thinking is out of my league now) about it much. It actually slipped away with just with a blink of an eye each time I started. Baba Ramdev is one my last options. I like to search for answers but this is one of those rare mysteries where I don`t even know what the mystery is.

The swallowing time is back. The judgment day is near i.e. tomorrow. As far as I remember, I was in bed a moment ago. I seriously don`t have a bit of idea how I ended with this crap at this hour of time! That’s my mind.

Someone told me once...

“How can people say that they would be awarded with heaven or executed to hell based on the acts they do during their lives or past lives. They can worship a piece of stone, a tree, some animals, the sun or a river but can`t think anything beyond that. They are happy with what is going on now. No matter how big their troubles are, they seek help or ask for some extra strength from those random things. They try every bit of their lives making their way to a hypothetical heaven.

There are screams, there are fights. We see innocent people suffer. We see the criminals roaming freely among public. We show our pity towards the female who`d been raped. We intend to hang out the person(s) who did this to her. We intend to burn him alive. We are the ones who decide how to punish the ones who did it.

But none of us had ever thought of some other possibilities. May be the people who are suffering are suffering cause of the acts they`d done in their pasts, in their previous lives. May be the ones who are making them suffer have done nothing. May be they are the messengers of the ultimate Almighty. May be they are the ones who are here to give the results to the former ones. May be the later ones have done enough now to get into the positions of the former ones. May be there are more messengers forming.

This chain happens to have no ending at all. As long as people would pretend this to be a real world, there is no ending. It is difficult to understand but what if we all are living in a common dream. What if it happens to be true that none of us is going to wake up ever? What if we all are already dead? What if we already are in HELL?”